Ants, Ants, Everywhere

Ants.

Ugh.

Last weekend a few of the pharm girls came over for a night of good food (obviously I didn't cook), wine, and photography lessons.  At one point in the evening I thought I heard "ant", but whatever it was was swept into the garbage before I saw it.  The three girls gave me an odd smile and a giggle - "it was a crumb".

Whatever.

The other day I noticed two little ants in the sweepings when I Swiffered the hardwood floor - I figured I had picked up a friend or two when I swept by the front door.  Hmmm.  Weird.

Then.

Yesterday, I was chopping up the forty five grocery bags worth of fruit I had drug home with me from Safeway, when there he was.   An ant.  On my kitchen counter.

That was it.  I crawled around on the kitchen floor, searching for more monsters.  I found them.  By the fridge.  By the garbage.  By the kitchen island.   Teeny little horrible, frightening, creepy-crawly monsters.

I texted Will about our new friends.  Then googled how to get rid of them and wrote "ANT KILLER" on my shopping list for today.  Then went to bed.

This is part of the story: I had three different people tell me how red my eyes were and why are they so puffy?  Awesome.  Then I figured it out: I haven't had a good night's sleep in three nights because I've been dreaming about having ants in my bed.  Last night was no different.  Ants on my pillow, ants in the sheets, ants crawling up the leg of the bed.  Ants.  Ants.  Ants.

I wandered downstairs to see if ants had taken over the world when I woke up.  Guess what I found?  Fourteen little ant traps placed strategically around the kitchen.

That William.  He had stopped at the store on his way home from work at three in the morning to get ant traps.  What a guy.

We have Phil coming to visit us tomorrow.  Phil is guaranteed to get rid of our ants.  If the ants come back, he'll come back.  He was recommended by a coworker who had an unfortunate run in with ants a few years ago.

At least we're not the only ones.

I think I shall rent the movie "Antz" tomorrow and eat celery covered in peanut butter and raisins.  A little farewell to my unwelcome friends.