Welcome to Mexico!

Cabo: Arrival Day!

Our flights were pretty uneventful.  Customs was uneventful.  And Wilberforce didn't even have an aneurysm from the stress of it all!  Success.  

I've decided I have some kind of anatomical issue that causes my legs to swell up like a balloon whenever I am anything but standing up or lying down.  Anything in between is an issue.  Sitting at a table, on a chair, on an airplane, cross-legged on the floor, lounging on a pool side chaise.   Whether it's a 45 minute dinner or a two hour flight - I can practically feel all the ooey gooey fluid in my veins swooshing to my ankles when I stand up.  

Reason #234 I should never be pregnant.  Pretty sure I'm at an increased risk of blood clotting with these freakish drainage issues.  So there.  Now I have a medical reason to not have children, rather than the ol' "I don't have kids, I don't want kids, I'm not particularly fond of your kids, have a nice day".  

People don't seem to appreciate the later.  But a "well I have this medical issue that almost guarantees I would develop a blood clot and possible die a horrible, painful death" would probably be the end of any discussion in the children department that a prying relative/friend/random stranger at the gas station might initiate. 

Oh yeah.  Cabo. 

Word of advice from the owner of a freshly stamped passport:

When booking a trip to a tourist destination in Mexico, book transport to your resort in advance.  When you've arrived at your destination airport and have passed through customs, (this is the important part!!) DO NOT STOP UNTIL YOU'RE OUTSIDE.  Do not make eye contact.  Do not talk to a single soul unless they are holding the sign designating them as the prearranged transport to your resort.  Don't say hola to anyone.  If someone happens to catch your attention and pulls out a brochure, back away quickly and continue towards the exit.

Unless, of course, you would like to be pestered incessantly about visiting their resort, their club, buying a discounted ticket to any and every point of interest, and/or ripped off on crazy expensive cab fare.

Just sayin'.

Don't ask me how I know.  And don't ask Wilberforce, either.  It's a sore subject.

But we survived and got to our shuttle unscathed.

The trip to the resort through the city was, um, eye-opening.  Those movies filmed in Mexico ain't lying.   Mexico really looks like...Mexico.   The only paved road I saw was the main highway we were driving on, and even that had spots that were so craptastic I almost hit my head on the ceiling of the van while we bounced over them.

We had been in the van for at least fifteen minutes before I realized something.  All the signs on the stores were in Spanish.

Duh Manda.  You're in Mexico...is probably what you're thinking.  Yeah, I know I'm in Mexico.  The point is that reading the signs in Spanish didn't occur to me as odd because a good portion of the signage in the town I work at in Colorado is also in Spanish...or both English and Spanish.

Throughout our trip I also realized I don't know proper speaking etiquette when at a resort in Mexico.  Is it rude to speak English when saying simple greetings, making simple food orders, saying "please" and "thank you"?  Are you supposed to make the best effort possible to speak Spanish?

I should have googled that before we went.  I still don't know for sure.  Maybe I'll google it now so I'm all proper and shiiizz when I go to Mexico again.

Anywho.

The entrance to the most gorgeous resort ever. 

Open air courtyard.  Yeah.  Open your mouth and eyes as wide as possible.  Right now.  Leave them like that for at least fifteen minutes.

That was me, during our tour of the resort when we arrived.  Not kidding.


We sat down to check in with the front desk gentleman.   We were brought tea and a cold, scented towel to freshen up after our travels.  Hi, I'm a farm kid from Iowa and totally out of my element.  Which is why I have wrapped my cold towel around my forehead like a headband a la Rambo. 

And then, the bombshell was dropped.

"You booked an ocean view King room, correct? Well...."

Lenz luck.  I hate you.  They double booked our room and now we're gonna get screwed over.  This trip is already ruined...#$*%&$)??!

"...we would like to upgrade you, free of charge, to our Luxury Ocean View Suite."

Say what.

"But it has two double beds, rather than a king."

Hi.  We aren't obese.  We can fit in a double.  



So our most favorite staff member, Yoshua (who oddly enough, was a Mexican spittin' image of my cousin Joshua, even down to the hand gestures when he spoke), took us to our Luxury Suite.

I walked in and laughed.  And laughed some more.

Oh hey, view.  Oh hey, private infinity jacuzzi pool on one of our two balconies.

What's up living room?

 Oh Wilberforce, would you like to eat breakfast at our dining table that seats eight?

 Yoshua also pointed out our mini bar.  He also pointed out that in most rooms it really is a mini-bar, because it's in a mini-fridge.  But in our full sized kitchen with granite countertops, top of the line range hood, dishwasher, stove, oven, and full size fridge, our mini-bar wasn't so mini.

AND they restocked it every day.  All inclusive is the coolest thing I've ever heard of in my life.

 These two kids are smiling HUGE because they totally booking nailed it.  Again.  And got upgraded.

Boom.



After our travels, we were tired and couldn't muster the strength to explore the resort without food.

 So we browsed the menus for the amazing restaurants in the resort...and had it delivered to our room.  For free.  Did I mention all-inclusive is killer?

We ordered a sea bass ceviche with avocado.  Amazing.

 And the catch of the day over grilled veggies and wild rice.  Heavenly.

 You know when you eat food and can't help but close your eyes?  That was every single meal we ate for five days.

I'm now a 400 pound 28 year old, and I'm okay with that.

 So, we ate, unpacked, and set out to explore our new home.

 I can't even explain.  This is where we hung out all day long for five days.

It did not suck.

 A little walk on the beach at sunset was the perfect way to kick off our stay.

We decided to head back to our Luxury Suite (yes, I will continue to point that out...get over it), pop a bottle of champagne that was waiting for us, and take a dip in our infinity jacuzzi.  Not only did we have an ocean view, we also had a view of the sun setting over the mountains.  

 Go ahead, be jealous.  I am.

 And so ends the most perfect first day of a Four Year Anniversary/Delayed Honeymoon that was ever experienced.