We're Still Kickin'

Someone filed a complaint against the ClarkPharm.  Some people are such jack wagons.

This particular complaint went something like this:

"I want to file a complaint.  You have not updated your blog since June 2nd.  I don't know what's going on in your life if you don't post.  I like reading your stories.  Post more stories."

The complaint was filed via voicemail by a particularly pesky reader.

My dad.

Well, father, this is me, posting for you.  Stop whining.


Wilberforce and I have been taking full advantage of our days off and wonderfully warm weather.  I talked him into running a couple 5ks with me!  The first one was the Rough Rider 5K during our town's festival days.

 This is before the race - we were totally ready to go.  It was chilly, but sunny, and Wilberforce had trained for the run by not running since the last 5k we did.  Last Thanksgiving.

 I trained by running a few miles a few times a week.  A few as in anywhere from three to six miles.

The race was small.  Unfortunately for Wilberforce, I have a problem with races.  I always have to pass the person in front of me.  It's an issue.  When I run in the mornings by myself, I keep a leisurely 9:45min/mile pace.  It's not at all fast, but I get a good workout in.  A 5k (3.1 miles) normally takes around 30 minutes.  The Rough Rider 5k?  Twenty seven minutes.  There was this little butthead kid with bionic legs running in our general vicinity and I wasn't about to let him beat us.

He did.

But I still made the best time I've ever run.

The worst part?  Wilberforce kept up the whole time.  I kept looking over my shoulder, thinking I had to have lost him since he doesn't run.  Ever.

Nope.  He kept up with me.

 That's not to say he didn't fall down, (literally) and die (not literally) after we passed the finish line.

Do you know how many days after a fast race a 29 year old man can whine about how badly his calves hurt?  Approximately four days.

 I, on the other hand, was super freakin' pumped about our time.  And I don't whine.  Wilberforce did enough for the both of us.


On a side note, we've been working out at our local gym.  It's small and awesome and everyone is really nice.  They have a strength and cardio class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 5 am.  I've been going once or twice a week.  It's pretty awesome!  The first day I went, I got home and was amped up. Like I just chugged 15 espressos and three 5 Hr Energys.

So what else could I do but be completely ridiculous while Wilberforce caught it on camera.

 Ridiculous.


I signed us up for a 5k up in Estes Park last Sunday on Father's Day.  I woke up the morning of the race with a throat that was nicely swelled shut.  Perfect.

However, I had already registered and coughed up the $45 fee for each of us, so I figured we may as well drive up there and walk it, if nothing else.  The elevation in Estes is at least 3,000 ft higher than our home...you might be aware how the elevation can affect your lung capacity?  It sucks.  I was pretty sure we were going to die.

 We got up there, checked in, got our race packets and were pleasantly surprised that our race shirts were KILLER.  Not just a t-shirt...but a sweat-wicking super duper awesome race shirt.  Wilberforce wore his for the race.

 I didn't wear mine because I was wearing new LuLuLemon race capris and tank...guaranteed to help me run fast and jump high.  Or just stay somewhat cool.

Whatever.

 The scenery was magnificent.  Majestic.  Magnanimous.

I'm not sure what magnanimous means.  I learned that word from "Ever After: A Cinderella Story".  Shout out to mi madre!  "Ever After" is the greatest movie of all time...if you ask any of the four women that lived in the Lenz household from 1995 to 2005.  We may or may not have watched it a bajillion times, give or take.

Dad might even have the whole thing memorized by association.

I should google Magnanimous.

And I should stop capitalizing it.  That's not correct usage of a capital letter.

POP QUIZ.  What's the difference between "capital" and "capitol"?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Look it up.

Magnanimous:

Very generous or forgiving, esp. toward a rival or someone less powerful than oneself.

Synonyms

generous - large-hearted - high-minded - noble-minded

Welp.  I guess that doesn't fit very well in my description of the Estes scenery.  Vocab fail.

 I have great running form.  And yes, my face always looks like that when I'm running.  It scares away wildlife.

 And if my face doesn't scare them away, I just show 'em the guns.  Bam.  Boom.  Pow.

 So we started out running.  Did you know if your throat is swelled and you go up in elevation by 3,000 ft, your ears will not pop?  I didn't know that either.

I do now.

Have you ever ran a 5k with the pressure in your head feeling like it's going to make your eyeballs pop out onto your cheeks?

I have.

It.  Was.  Awesome.

Seriously, the race was great!  We started out at an extremely slow pace (eleven minutes for the first mile), because I knew if we tried to haul hinney, we would die.  I'm not sure who set up the course for the race, but I haven't decided if they're geniuses or idiots.  The first half was uphill.  I wanted to quit.  I wanted to lie down in traffic.  I wanted to trip the lady running next to me because I was so irritated with how freaking hard the course was for a sick, pressure filled flat-lander like myself.

Then we rounded a corner and took off down a hill.  "Sweet" I thought to myself, "this will be a nice little break".  The hill got steeper.  And never ended.  I felt like a runaway semi.  I started visualizing in my head what would happen if I tripped or a leg gave out.

"Tuck and roll, tuck and roll."
"I should practice falling down hill to prepare for this."
"I wonder if these new capris will hold up well to road rash."
"I bet I'll bounce once or twice."
"I hope there's no one behind me; I don't wanna get stepped on when I wipe out."
"My shins are gonna huuuurrrrttt tomorrow."
"We are running really fast."
"If I have to run back up this mountain I'm gonna be pissed."

After the race, Wilberforce and I were talking about the downhill stretch.  His thought was "I'm gonna wipe out and ruin my Beats.  I'll have to get new ones.  I wonder what color I should get..."

And old guy passed us and was literally two paces in front of me when he slipped on some loose rock and almost lost it.  There is no way I would have been able to avoid trampling him.  I hate trampling old men, so I was pretty happy when he pulled his crap together and stayed vertical.

 At the end of the race they provided snacks.  Usually we find tons of fresh whole fruit, bagels, ice cold water, and coffee.  This race had warm orange slices, oreos, cookies, fig newtons, and warm water.

Not cool.

The buffet at the awards ceremony had pizza.  Also not cool.

 Luckily, I'm always prepared with food.  We had Quest Bars and Oats in Jar waiting for us in a cooler in the car.  Fuel!

 We ran the race in 31 minutes.  Faster than I thought we would, even though that's still really slow, plus I was just happy we actually ran the whole thing!  I checked out the times posted on the race website the next day.  Wilberforce placed 4th in his age group and I place 5th in mine!  I was pretty happy with that!

 A runner is supposed to replace her running shoes every so often.  I've heard every 50 miles, I've heard every 100 miles.  Either way, you have to replace them.  I've had my running shoes since 2008.  Since last summer I've ran at least ten miles per week...a lot of the time I ran closer to 25 miles per week.

I finally replaced my shoes this month.  I found these babies at the Nike Outlet on sale.  Lance Armstrong screwing the pooch with Livestrong sucks for him, rocks for me.

I had my shoes on the kitchen table, waiting for our first run together.  Wilberforce had to work an overnight shift and left me this note in my shoe for me to find the next morning.


Sooooo our gym just started a 24 hour access thingy.  It's pretty sweet.  We took advantage of it on Sunday and went to the gym for a nice Back and Biceps workout.

 The Clarks be getting beastie!!  I'm still doing my Spoonful Of Fit Body Built Program; Wilberforce makes up his own workouts by researching online and trying new techniques.  He's starting to talk like Ahhhhnold.  I'm worried.

 My favorite muscle group to workout is triceps.  Starting to get a little horseshoe action!  And shoulders...like workin' dem Boulder Shoulders.

 I'm getting so beastie, people walking towards me on the street cross to the other side cause I'm so intimidating.  For real.

Or it could be because I've been at the gym so much and the shower not so much.

Hygiene, schmygiene.

I convinced a bunch of the girls at work to come to the Strength and Cardio class with me last week.  They were rewarded with pancakes in a jar.

 Besides the "OMG these are freaking amazing pancakes" comments, I also heard a lot of "No wonder you have a food baby all the time - that's so much food!"

Gotta feed the Beast.